Jeez huhhhhh,. MOM i miss youu sooo damn much! I wish you here to give me guidance and the love that I need for 20 years now. Everytime, I swear everytime I hear about people talk about their moms, I always say, "cherish and loveeee your MOM to the fullest, you don't know what's it is like to be without a MOM." Or I encourage them to love their MOM and make them see what it is without a MOM!
:( I know and hope that you're in a better place. Everytime I have a dream about you, I never see your face, but in the end I'm happy to have dreamnt of you! I miss the family soo much, especially my two sisters. Everyday I pray for their safety and everyone, esp. Mollyy and her family, my baby and your 1st grandson, baby Evan. MOM please look over us still and protect us. I know haven't done much in my life, but I feel like I'm going through these small and big roads at the same time, really wishing you were here with me, but at the same time I must go on. Sooon, I will have you tatt against me and stay with me close for forever.
ughh, MOM! I'm not blaming youuu, I just really wish you were here. I wish I was there before you went. I heard everything about it, I'm soooo sad and sorryyy! You didn't derserve it, no matter what was said, I'm not listening to anything anyone says, in my heart, I know that Momma was a good person, that is why I'm such a strong person, always wanting to be independent, and I think that was your wish before you left us, esp ME, your baby, Ntxheengyieng Diana Xiong. And I am trying everyday, to make YOU proud and everyone, esp. Grayma.
Right now, I'm going to take the BIGGEST step of my life and live alone and go through college to be a successful person. Yes, Txhujci did do it, and I'm sooo proud of her. I remember when she went away to college, I missed her soo much. Because I knowww and care sooo much for a family and bond that we never had! :( and now Molly and her family are in Colorado, my heart won't stay still, because I care for her and her family sooo much.
MOM, I just want you to know that I became such a generous and grateful baby and daughter. I love everything and I am grateful for everything! I MISSS you sooo much! ugh, all these hardship are nothing, they're for YOU! and everything I LIVE for.!
Please tell DAD and everyone that I'm doing fine, and let them know that I am trying and will never give up.
Thank you.
I MISS YOU SO MUCH MOM!
LOVE &Muah, from you youngest baby,
Ntxheengyieng, Diana Xiong
awww diana. i love you hunny. i can't imagine my life without my mother, as much as i hated her in high school or that we would fight sometimes, i love her so much today. reading this really brought me to tears. you're strong and i believe your mom blessed you with everything you have today, and more to come. just because someone's not with you physically doesn't mean they're not with you spiritually. i'm very lucky to know someone like you. you do make me appreciate what i have and i hope you use this as motivation which i'm sure you are. though i'm not the strongest person in the world, i've got your back hunny. you're forever a sister to me.
ReplyDeletethinking about it, i've realized how much i need my mother now. before, i never really understood how your life was without your mom, and now i do. i don't see her much often, neither do i talk to her. it's taken me years to surpass this feeling of broken family, yet, i'm still hurt. i miss my mother and no matter how much i want things to be like it was before, i can never change what has happened. i've realized that i don't have guidance, not so much love anymore, nor do i have someone to talk to. i find that driving down lonely roads at night become never-ending because i can never stop thinking about my life now, without my mom.
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