I woke up around 9:22am, which is two hours behind Minniesota, 11:22am, to the phone call of my sis, Molly. I heard excessive cries and moans in the background and instantly, I knew that my Grandmother had just passed away. I feel sad that I am in a position where I can't really help myself, I don't and didn't have money to fly out to see my Grandmother for the last time of her life and my life. I wish her the peace and love that she deserves. She will truly be missed and loved back here on earth, and I wished her a safe journey to heaven. And I want her to know that I've always loved her and missed her even though I haven't seen her in years, the last time was when I was a 5th grader.
I know that she won't be lonely in heaven because she has my Grandfather and Mother to guide her. And her dreams of wanting and wishing to see my mom for almost 20 years has come,
Yes, Mom and Ntais it has been that long. The baby, Ntxheengyieng that you left behind because you couldn't and didn't have the life and strength to live on earth, has grown and mature into a woman. I am thankful and grateful that you have given life to me. And I am also thankful for Grandmother to birth us both into this world. I hope you are doing fine and hope you are still watching us from up above. I love and miss you tremendously. We all grew up into fine adults, yeah we struggled here and there, and that was the time that we needed you the most, crying out to you asking, "Why did you leave?" and "Why we never got the chance to see you? Bond with you? or Know you?" But Im glad we made it through those times and continued living to make you proud. I couldn't have loved you enough in this lifetime. I miss you and Ntais terribly.
Please be safe and watch over us.
Love, Ntxheengyieng Diana Xiong (Aa Bea)
1/03/2011
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